Tag Archives: poetry

The English Paper

“By midnight moon I rose to walk, to ponder, thoughts yet sleeping, spilling in the dark; my wonder left my feet to wander on through memories discarded. Words I conjured for an audience of one demanded, so it seemed, my energies, a journey yet unstarted.”

She paused and looked up for the sparest of moments, and then scanned her paper again, licking her lips as she found where she had left off.

Bryan looked at his own paper, in front of him on the desk, as she continued. It was marked with an A, of course. Technically, he knew it was very good. Every word and phrase weighed for meaning and place. Every mark of punctuation double checked. Every paragraph harmonized to the contours of his message, the flow of ideas and patterns. He always got the A in English class.

But these words of hers hung in the air like warm notes of light. This was something entirely different. Something so far beyond his field of expression that he could only listen in wonder.

“…the worth of one, I see, is small, so many others light the way, and borrowed brilliance deals so dimly in the subtle sight of day. By darkness, maybe lost, my strength to shine is tapped and spent, I falter at the cost of worthlessness, this broken soul of mine.”

Dr. Walsh had returned to her desk, but the professor was smiling, watching her student in front of the class, watching the class to gauge the impact of the student’s paper. The side of her chin rested on the back of her fist, propped by her elbow, and she seemed to nod at the rhythm and shape of the sentences being read.

“..so forth to finish, small and strong, with might unmustered yet, unmastered, yet I’ll raise my song to raise the next a little more. With all the growth I get I’ll give the light that lifted me, and finally be the one who came before.”

She stopped and looked up, tentatively, hiding behind her paper. The room was still.

“Thank you, Leslie.” The professor’s words got her started, and Leslie moved quickly to her desk in the second row.

Leslie. He needed to meet Leslie.

Dr. Walsh pointed out some of the rhythmic, alliterative, and ideological patterns that strengthened Leslie’s piece. It had been a freeform assignment, the first of the term, to introduce ourselves to our Freshman English Professor. Dr. Walsh was clearly taken with the piece. So was Bryan.

It was the top of the hour and class was soon dismissed. Bryan took his time gathering his stuff while trying to listen to the discussion Leslie and the professor were having two desks away.

“I’m sorry to embarrass you that way, calling you up. I hope you didn’t mind too much…”

Brian hoisted his backpack up onto one shoulder and then hovered nearby as their discussion turned from Leslie’s paper to the class syllabus and future assignments.

“All right, well, I’ll see you both next week.” The professor nodded to Bryan–they had spoken at length after the previous class–and turned back to getting her own things together.

They each said, “Bye,” and Leslie started to turn toward the door.

“Could I, uh, could I get a copy of your paper?” Bryan’s face was hot.

“My paper?”

“Yeah. It was…it was really good.”

“Are you sure? I mean it was only a draft, it’s not really…”

“No, it was great. I want to read it again, to understand it better.”

“Well, I guess. Sure.”

“Thanks.” They both went out the door and headed down the short hallway to the outside. “I’m Bryan, by the way.”

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Susy McGee

“Oh, I don’t think we can go on this way,” she said as she turned from me, starting away.

“Which way?” I demanded, so softly, so proud. There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t be loud.

“Honk,” the geese honked, and they squawked and they played in the water–they honked to me, standing unmade. I bent and I picked up a small, colored rock, and I skipped it along the shore, into the flock.

On she went, farther away from me still, as she had for the last several months past until she had now, I suppose, had enough of my face, of my voice by her side and my life in her space.

With the sun down now twilight was coming on soon, so I hurried on after her into the gloom of the trees on the hillside which climbed from the shore, and I called to her, “Wait!” but she waited no more.

At the top I just saw her climb onto her bike. With her helmet on, jacket zipped, mounted catlike, she had started the Harley and tickled the throttle before I could reach her and beg her to stop. Then a backhanded wave as she rode off in style, though I’m sure I saw briefly a little sad smile–

And that’s all that I know of my Susy McGee, who outgrew her father at age 17. Just a wave and a smile it had been back then too, as she boarded the bus to her college debut. Now I sat where I stood, in the damp unkempt grass, and I looked at the road as through old, wavy glass.

I knew little of where she had been for six years, when she showed up one evening, her cheeks stained with tears. Now the summer has passed and I know little more, though perhaps now she went with her spirit restored. And maybe she’ll write, but most likely she won’t, and I’ll wonder and pray that life’s tragedies don’t cloud her judgment and keep her from spreading life’s joy, for to live is to rise above all that destroy.

It is time to let go in the night as before, while my little one seeks her own future once more. On the scorecard of parenthood all is obscured; both the past and the future remain unassured. And yet still, in the dark, I can see my porch light, leading home for a family lost in the night, and I know that she knows, when all hopes have an end, there’s a father who loves her, forever. Amen.

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